Help Me Rhonda - Rhonda Part I
by Awatere11
Summary: redro32244 is to blame for this. She asked for it, will not be what she expected though. This is what happens when you distract me ...Laws. Ianto, Jack and Owen had a UNit team with them, hunting along the River Wye for a runaway alien but what finds them is big, bad and hairy. Bigfoot story. ALT VERSE no flaming please
1. Chapter 1

A single autumn leaf... brown and crisp... clinging to its empty branch... the solitary sign of life on an otherwise barren tree.

A gust of wind... the leaf breaks free... flutters down, landing in the slow current of the Wye. The last leaf of the season, taking its final journey south.

As it floats along the surface, rising and falling with the current, all we can hear is the river's gentle movement...the trickle of water... the splash of timid rapids... until distant invade this world... soft at first, but growing louder... Laughter... a Cockney snark. Owen?

And then our leaf crashes into something... the bow of a canoe. We hear the voices even clearer now... Men's voices, as we rise up the bow... see it's a small flotilla of canoes, Owen clutching onto an oar and ineffectively trying to help row towards the shore, the white water almost rendering him speechless.

Almost.

Ianto is sitting behind Jack, his laughter echoing as Owen again bemoans the fact Gwen got to stay behind to liaise with Tosh back at the Hub.

"Owen, give it up. Gwen can't swim" Jack sighs, glancing back from the bow of the three man canoe, the other canoes flanking them full of unit men.

"Well I think this sucks, is stupid, and pointless" Owen says emphasising his point by slamming the oar into the water and only splashing himself, making him roar again.

"Stop it or you will be put in a time out again" Ianto warns calmly, Owen throwing himself back into the bags behind him, folding his arms petulantly as he now refuses to row.

They moved a lot easier now.

"Twats"

They were soon on the shore making camp along the shoreline... hauling wood, building campfires, pitching squares of canvas for makeshift rooftops. And this camp is full of life because these men are determined, their fearless leader sitting calmly as Ianto pours coffee from the pot over the fire before he begins

"Right. Sully, you have the maps?" Jack asks a Unit solider sitting nearby. Although none of them have anything on them to show rank Jack remembers who is who, the soft whisper in his ear as Ianto leans over to pour a boon, much better than mainframe at prompting when needed ya know.

"Yes Captain, seems we have two trails here, both have sightings and both seem reasonable, also both lead to the same place here on the map." Sergeant Sully answers, everyone leaning over to study the map, "See? This trail leads along the ridgeline but this other one goes through the dense forest."

"Shit" Owen huffs, "Which is quicker?"

"Owen!" Jack warns, "We will go the one most likely to find what we are hunting."

"And I still say it's bullshit. We are more likely to find that whack job Bobo up here talking into a camera about Squatch Scat than finding the runaway Gervillian!" Owen replies, "I vote for the quickest one. Their way it is probably long one, little orange fucker."

"I am forced to agree with Owen" Ianto says softly, "We've seen no fresh sign of the creature, the last track was back at shore and is at least two days old, even you have to agree on that sir."

"But they do like height" Jack replied sullenly, his finger tracing the ridgeline.

"Right, then we split up" Owen suggests, "Me and Jack take the inland route, seems easier for my bad back, you take a team and go along the ridge Tea Boy, after all. You are the damned hiker."

"Agreed" Jack nods and Ianto bites back a complaint.

"Fine" he mutters, looking away and again Jack glances at him and sees his annoyance.

Ianto really didn't want to be here.

Well.

He as not the one who let the damned thing escape.

At least Gwen had apologised immediately, even offering to dry-clean the suit they all knew was ruined.

Ianto stands and the unit pants offered along with a complete change of clothes form the muddy mess Gwen had slammed him into while running for her life and screaming like a fucktard hug his arse nicely as he pulls the warm coat around him and looks over the water as if he is looking for someone to catch up.

He looks like one of those postcards, just needs a faithful dog at his heel.

Jack sighs and wishes they were somewhere warm too.


	2. Chapter 2

2

And a plume of smoke surrounding the long barrel of a pulse rifle.

The smoke fades, and at the other end of the rifle we see the face of Owen, one eye still closed, as the other calmly stares down that barrel.

"Shit fire, you got him, Dr. Harper!" a solider crows, running for the rabbit as Owen swings to grin at the team behind him.

Owen and Jack exchange a smile... until Jack notices something... steps over the rabbit, his eyes locked on the ground beside it. He runs a finger over the dirt... touches a broken twig.

"Another one close by?" Owen asks hopefully as he glances at Ianto who is still with them as he prepares to break off along the northerly ridge line trail.

Jack doesn't answer... studies the track... feels the nearby brush... inhales the scent from his hand. Owen and Ianto watch him... exchange a confused glance. And then in a flash of movement, Jack is on his feet, racing away.

"Jack?"

Jack just keeps running. Owen and Ianto chase after him. Unit follow and they all find themselves in a clearing, what appears to be a fresh kill, the deer torn asunder.

"Shit, this looks like more than just a pack of wild dogs or something" Owen says as he looks around, "If I didn't know better I would say it was our boy but they don't leave kills behind."

"No" Jack agrees, turning to look at Ianto, "I don't know if he is throwing a tantrum or we have another player here."

"A bounty hunter this far?" Ianto cants his head and Owen frowns as the conversation goes weird, "I thought the third sector was their limit."

"Well, maybe" Jack grimaces, "If the money was good enough."

"Huh?" Owen grunts and Jack turns to face him, "Ianto and I are wondering if another alien chased him here and is tracking him too. Keep alert. OK?"

"Maybe we shouldn't split up" Owen is now getting alarmed and turns to Ianto for backup but he is already walking away, his team of men following with packs and weapons, "Yan? We should stick together?"

"Owen, that pulse rifle is an unmistakable noise, if he is here he just took cover. Either you flushed him up along the ridge or out to the bay, either way we need to move now. If he doesn't hear movement on both trails he will simply chose the one without us on it and we lose"

"Oh" Owen considers and then turns to Jack, "Guess I should have asked then."

"No bother Owen, he knew we were here already, otherwise he wouldn't be running so fast" Jack shrugs, "After all, his wide spaced tracks tell me he is going hell for leather like something is after him. Must be a Bounty Hunter, what else can it be?"

"Yeah, yeah. Good point" Owen looks over as the last of the unit men in Ianto's team disappear into the dark foliage and knows it will be up to an hour before they will be seen on the ridge.

He wishes he could have said he doesn't swim either. He starts humming 'Help me Rhonda' to pass the time also because he sees Jack's jaw tighten as the others join in. Seems Unit can be cohesive.

It is another 45 minutes actually, the flash of a muzzle letting them see them above them, Ianto's stealth not giving them away but a unit soldier that forgot to sock the end of his muzzle that catches the sunlight as it fades and late afternoon sets in.

They will travel for another two hours before Ianto calls Jack via the coms and they agree to rest the men, a snack and one more push before dark.

The men building fires... laughing... enjoying themselves. Ianto on the outskirts, gathering branches.

He hears something and pauses, straightening from the stick he ws reaching for and he cants his head as he listens to what sounds like a low moan.

Wind?

Ianto turns in a slow circle as he tries to pinpoint the noise, the crackling of braches telling him something is moving in the underbrush. It is unsettling and he wonders if it is simply a badger or something, maybe he is the one being scary and he is simply flushing the poor creatures from their foraging?

Ianto turns again, this time the wind dies and the hissing leaved grow silent.

Ianto hears it again this time more like an exhale.

The hair in the back of his neck stands up and he realises he is hugging his bundle of wood like a goddamned teddy bear, dropping it to the ground and choosing a large branch as he wonders why the hell he went this far without a bloody pulse rifle.

His hand goes to his sidearm as he listens, now sure that whatever it is beyond his sight is circling him.

Trying to cut him off?

Ianto feels tendrils of fear as he realises whatever this is, it is not their prey.

He is the prey here.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Ianto is running for his life...dodging trees... leaping over fallen logs... loading his pistol as he runs.

Ianto trips... slams to the ground... scrambles back to his feet to continue on.

The other men don't even notice Ianto's frantic attempts to get to camp while they talk loudly and laugh as they prepare a meal. Then a stick that is sharpened into a spear whizzes through the air... THWACK... it hits a man Ianto remembers is called Boggy in the back of the neck... erupts out the front of his throat.

Boggy stands frozen... confused... reaches up and grabs the bloody spear... finally drops to his knees. And that's when another man looks up... sees Boggy on his knees, holding that spear, his mouth open like a dying fish.

Ianto shoves a soldier toward the water. A spear drives into the soldier's leg... he goes down. Ianto lifts the man to pull him into the river, but several more spears bury in the man's back... he falls limp.

Several men join Ianto... splash into the river, firing back at the attacking … whatever the hell they are. Clearly there is more than one, not at all their quarry. The water deepens, and they start swimming toward the other shore.

Spears hiss into the water all around them.

Ianto is still in the shallows... aims his pistol... BAM... shoots an oncoming shadow... spins after the other men...joins them as they near the deep water.

A final soldier charges down the shore behind them. Several large shadows pursue him. They seem to hulk in the trees, larger than any human could be and Ianto tells himself it is an optical illusion, just the shadows playing tricks.

The soldier aims his pistol over his shoulder as he runs... pulls the trigger... CLICK... pulls it again... CLICK. But he's too scared to stop his finger... CLICK... CLICK... CLICK... THUD... as a spear buries in his back. He crashes face first into the shallows.

Ianto looks back and feels his balls shrivel into his groin as one of the shadows steps into the light, the roar of defiance making the birds erupt from the trees and he wishes the joke about Bobo the Bigfoot Hunter hadn't been made, he sure could use him right about now.

The Bigfoot leader has animal bones braided into his Mohawk like hair, dreads that seem to stand up on their own an although he can't smell him Ianto thinks he can guess the stench emanating from this creature, a necklace of dead birds and a badger tail around his neck, who then straddles the dying man. He grabs the soldier by the hair, and cuts off his left ear with a blade, then holds it up to Ianto and the others, as he screams at them.

Ianto and the men shove the large provisions packs into the water ... start scrambling aboard, as spears dart past them... driven into the nearest pack. The water turns brown as Worchester sauce leaks.

For some reason this annoys Ianto.

He likes sauce on his sausages, goddamn it.

Suddenly a smaller beast explodes form the water beside them... tackles a solider as he pushes a pack... jerks him back down into the river. He flails in the water... watches the beast raise his blade high to slam down... just as Ianto slams the butt of his rifle into the back of the Beast's head.

The Beast collapses under the surface. Ianto grabs the man's hand... drags him up onto the floating pack.

"Thank you." The man sobs as he clings to the pack that bobs on the soiw moving current.

But Ianto is already gone... firing back at the Bigfoot … whatever the hell is it is, as the current carries them away.

"HEY!"

Ianto looks over the other side of the pack he is pulling behind him, even as he pushed one ahead to let the others flail in the water... sees a frantic Mathew something (he can't remember in his panic) gripped to the edge. Ianto pulls him onto the pack.

Ianto grabs a pack and leans on it the shoves his feet against the river's bottom to pick up speed. The rapids are coming and then the first drop of many as the river feeds down towards the main river below.

Shit, shit, shit. Waterfall?

They won't follow them there right?

Mathew looks back, watching as the beast yanks the dying soldier's head back by his hair to peel away his face.

Mathew drops his eyes... can't watch.

The soldier's scream follows them with the dusk.

Ianto fires back behind them, the echo of the pistol echoes arond them as the scream finally stops.

.

.

.

.

.

Jack swings from the camp that is being set up, Owen rising from his seat by the fire to look at Jack with growing fear, "What the fuck was that?"

"Don't know, don't like it" Jack said, reaching for the coms and calling Ianto.

The silence is deafening as Jack scans the ridgeline for any sign of a campfire, even as he knows Ianto would have moved back from the edge, probably to the river running along up there that feed to the main Wye.

He knows something is wrong, so does Owen.

They just don't know what.

Yet.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Quiet and dark... the battle long over. The packs float with the gentle current. The five surviving soldiers are scattered around clinging to packs now secured together as Ianto is hunched over digging a spear out of Wally's shoulder... Fitz rowing on one side with Mathew on the other... Stubbs and Pig watching with their pulse rifles.

"What's the plan, Boss?" Fitz asks with a ragged breath and Ianto is still working, not glancing up as he feels for a needle and thread in the medical kit from his personal pack still attached to the large one he had chosen to save ... the strange raft of packs floats downstream.

"So we hike to the meeting point, then follow it up with another team, we simply hunt the fuckers down and kill them all." Wally answers with a sneer. "Right sir?"

"We make camp here for the night, then head out for the Meeting Point at first light." Ianto gestures to a bend in the river coming up, their best chance to exit the river before the white water starts ahead. "And gather extra blankets from these packs `cause there won't be any fires. If they are following they will be looking for light."

More grumbling from Fitz and Mathew, as they move toward the bank and cover of trees. Stubbs slides up beside Ianto "Thank you... for what you done back there."

"You'd have done the same for me." Ianto shrugs as he starts feeling his pockets the sudden thought of his coms alarming him.

Stubbs nods... he hopes so.

.

.

.

..

Jack is moving fast, the rest of the team waiting as three of their fittest follow, trying to keep up as he retraces their steps and now heads across the ridge, only one peels from the following small pack and keeps up his harrowing pace, soon forced to stop as the water rushes past.

"Sir, no sign of landfall on the far bank." The soldier calls nervously and Jack nods, his gut telling him to follow even as he knows the rest of the men are all clustered like sheep waiting for the old shepherd to come save them for the wolf.

Damn it.

He wants to follow Ianto, knows Owen will want to continue to the Meeting Point and he will argue that Ianto will be there, he is always there.

He sighs and signals that they head back, finding the main pack waiting to resume.

Like it or not, they are going to double time all the way from first light.

.

.

.

.

Pig on watch... sitting at the base of a tree, rifle across his lap, eyes wide, scanning the darkness. All clear. He peers back to camp... Fitz, Mathew, Stubbs, and Wally wrapped in blankets... passing a can of beans around. Stubbs across from Fitz is poking at the dirt with a stick. Mathew is off to one side, still studying that map. Ianto sits against a tree, cleaning his Pulse rifle.

"What ere they?" Pig asks and the silence is deafening as Ianto looks back at his rifle.

"Fucking Bogfoot ya twat" Stubbs shrugs and Ianto grunts.

"An alien race that crash lanaded here back in the late fifties. They were not this many or this agressive." Ianto finally speaks, "Also, not this far south. Our aim is to get to the jump point and get off this spot. They own it now and will kill to keep it, teritorial. Jack is gonna be pissed to learn they changed their area without telling us."

Fitz watches Ianto a beat, then... "You treat that Pulse sweeter than any woman, Ianto."

The others manage a small laugh. Ianto just keeps working on that rifle.

"Bring it over here for me to have a look."

Ianto doesn't look up... wipes a rag down the barrel.

"Did you hear what I said, boy?" Still nothing from Ianto. And Fitz doesn't like that... the tension's growing.

"Why not just go fuck yourself" Stubs mutters, "Seems you are fixated with his sex life. Middle of a crisis and still you seem to want to poke at him. Why are you so uncomfortable with him I wonder? Like, are you bi-curious and ashamed to admit you like to take it up your arse?"

The camp falls still... nobody talks to Fitz like that... especially when he's in a pissy mood. There isn't a sound except for Ianto working methodically on his rifle...until the swish of a blade over leather, as Fitz tears the blade from his belt... flings it into the dirt between Stubbs' legs... landing in the dirt near his boot.

Fitz stares at Stubbs, daring him to react. But Stubbs is too scared... doesn't, so Fitz just smiles.

"You're lucky you ain't a man yet." Fritz sneers as he looks down his nose at the younger man "Else that mighta nicked somethin'."

A few nervous chuckles from the other two watching, hoping this is over as Pig continues to stare out into the dark with wide eyes. Ianto has stopped cleaning the gun and is watching silently, now unnoticed by the others as the rifle lowers to his knee and he aims at Fitz. He also hopes it is over.

And it is, because Fitz reaches over and pulls the knife away... cleans the dirty blade on Stubbs' leg.

Ianto lowers the gun and Pig finally turns his head to make eye contact.

Both men go back to watching over the dead weight.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Early morning, the sunlight just peeking over the trees.

Jack leads the men single file through the woods. They each have a canvas sack of supplies over one shoulder, and their rifle in their hands. They have abandoned their large packs and now carry the smaller ones with ease, needed as Jack pushes them to move with haste.

The only sound is their feet crunching the dried leaves, and even that seems too loud as their eyes dart about, searching for any sign of attack.

"Shouldn't we have hit the midpoint campsite by now?" a soldier calls out, still trying to look at a map and check his GPS at the same time.

"We'll reach it soon enough." Owen replies "Ianto knows we will keep this course. Jack says to follow the trail he is leaving."

"Ianto" the guy snorted "Jack said. Too bad I don't see him. What if he falls off a fucking cliff up there, can Jack even see in this light?"

"That's on account he's up ahead making sure it's clear" Owen mutters.

"Or he's run off and left us." Comes the sneer.

"He wouldn't do that." Owen snaps, ready to shoot this one himself, trying his coms again just in case.

"Come on Yan."

.

.

.

.

Ianto moves slowly through the brush, almost gliding...subtle twists and turns to avoid branches and leaves...careful not to leave his scent behind. And his eyes cut through the trees as he moves... digging for any sign of movement.

He spots something at his feet... crouches down, running his finger over the small animal track in the dirt.

Rustling snaps his head up... to the trembling bushes... growing more intense... whatever's in there is coming toward Ianto. He calmly raises his rifle... presses the stock firmly against his shoulder... closes one eye as he takes steady aim down the long barrel... ...to the shape rumbling out of the brush... a little black creature similar to a badger but without any white on him playfully wrestling with a pinecone.

Ianto lowers the Pulse... looks past the pup for something else... but the woods are empty. A sudden fear fills Ianto's heart...he spins... right into the giant Bigfoot swinging it's hand at him... hitting him across the side of the neck. The animal's razor claws tear into Ianto' throat, as the force sends him flying through the air.

Ianto knows this is not a Bigfoot, recognises the beast from the old files and curses as he now knows they are in a alien sanctuary for Hinnimols, bear-like creatures that crashed on earth some forty years back and the Doctor argued their right to exist as refugees. This was not the mapped area for them, someone put the wrong coordinates in the file? They promised not to breed, to live peacefully and not show themselves to hikers. Damn it all, why can't anyone keep their word around here?

Ianto sails into a thick tree... the crack of his arm snapping against the trunk. The rifle falls from his hand.

The Beast lets out a massive roar... charges Ianto. Ianto crawls to the Pulse... grabs it... has just enough time to tilt the rifle toward the Hinnimol...

BOOM.

.

.

.

.

Jack turns and Owen points, "That way, over there!"

Jack takes off at full sprint. The other men follow.

..

.

.

.

The Hinnimol ...tosses Ianto aside with a powerful swing. Ianto hits the ground with a painful thud. He starts crawling away, pulling the knife from his belt as the Hinnimol rises up like a giant wraith behind him... swings... tears its claws across Ianto's back, shredding deep into his flesh.

Ianto is fighting for his life now... flailing with the knife... slicing it across the Hinnimol's paw as it whips past him. The wound slows the Hinnimol enough for Ianto to start crawling again.

But the Beast doesn't give Ianto the chance... ROARS... is on him in a flash, a blur of claws and fangs... tearing across Ianto' head... ripping into his neck... his chest.

Ianto drives his knife into the Hinnimol again... deep... trying to tear through the layers of flesh to something more vital.

.

.

.

.

Jack can hear the battle now, he can hear Ianto's scream as he is attacked and he bursts into a clearing where Ianto's men cling to one another with horror, their weapons all firing at once and as Jack falls from the barrage of pulse fire he knows Ianto is on his own out there.

.

.

.

.

Ianto...locked in a death grip... tumbling along the ground...trading violent blows... Ianto' blade versus the Beast's claws and fangs... snapping small trees as they roll over them... toward the edge of a steep embankment... and roll down... spinning over and over... each roaring at the other... Ianto pounding the knife into the Hinnimol again and again as they fall... neither willing to surrender as they careen down the slope at a dizzying pace, then slam to the bottom with a sickening crunch.

And the forest falls still...Ianto hidden somewhere beneath the massive animal... both deathly motionless.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Jack is the first to reach the battleground... the frightened Hinnimol pup scurrying back to hide under the bracken. He follows the bloody ground and crushed underbrush to the top of the slope... looks down to the mass of flesh at the bottom.

"Christ Almighty." The soldier who followed at his heels splutters with horror as they both see the huge creature below.

"Ianto!"

No answer. And all they can see is the Hinnimol, so they scan the trees.

"Oi! YAN!"

Still nothing.

So Jack takes off down the slope... losing his balance but rolling back to his feet. He reaches the Hinnimol... sees Ianto's arm sticking out on the other side of the carcass. **.**

"He's down here!" Jack roars as he uses all his strength to push the Hinnimol off, as the other men scramble down. But he can't budge the massive carcass... not until Stubbs Bill and Pig nervously join in with the others... shoving the animal over, revealing the bloody mass that is Ianto...his throat is torn wide open... scalp peeled back from just above his eyebrow, hanging off the skull... stomach and chest a gruesome design of gashes and cuts.

Stubbs's legs give out... he drops to a knee and vomits.

"Oh, Jesus." Wally whimpers as Jack and Owen pull him clear of the bloody ground.

"He's tore to pieces." Pig says with open awe as he watches the man he had just accidentally kill lean over to kiss his love goodbye.

"Least he took that thing down with him." Sully says with sorrow, shaking his head as he prepares to help carry a corpse out.

Then somehow, Ianto gasps... this horrible, guttural moan as Jack and Owen continue to work, the medical kit open and being scattered in the white snow as Jack leans over to …kiss?... Ianto again.

"Holy Christ, he's alive." Wally and Stubbs fall to their knees beside Ianto as they stare at the immortal man openly snarling at them while clutching Ianto to him possessively. Ianto looks up at the men, tries to focus through the blood and pain. His breathing is just a gurgling wheeze... bubbles forming along the deep gashes in his throat with each gasp.

"Get me some water." Owen demands in an attempt to move them away and he starts to wave the sonic scalpel to try and close the wounds as Jack whispers softly to Ianto that he is doing fine.

Stubbs tosses Owen his canteen. He empties it over Ianto' throat... his face and scalp. The water hits the wounds and immediately transforms to blood.

"Oh, Jesus... Jesus." Fitz repeats as he paces, looking and then looking away.

Ianto lifts a trembling hand to his throat... feels the gaping wound. His eyes widen in horror. He COUGHS... the air splashes blood up from the open wounds in his throat.

"It's okay, babe." Jack croons softly "You're going to be fine."

"I want a dry area to lay him and blankets, he's in shock" Owen snaps and Jack starts to come back to himself as he sees Ianto's panic dying even as he rallies, his good hand gripping Jack's with growing strength.

"The rest of you spread out... scout a circle around us. Fitz, you and Mathew take west and north. Wally and Sully south and east. Watch for anything that might've heard that shot." Jack barks, "The rest of you set up the camp, let's get Ianto dry and warm before we look at evacuation plans."

So the men hurry off to their positions.

Ianto is like a shredded rag doll... dazed eyes staring up at them as they work on his wounds... wrapping the bandages around his throat... laying his scalp back over his skull, and tying another bandage around it and under his jaw to hold it in place.

A solider wipes the blood from Ianto' face. "It's gonna be fine, Mr. Jones."

Owen glances down to the puddle of blood oozing out from under Ianto towards his knees... oozing out from beneath Ianto. "Roll him over... easy."

They gently push Ianto onto one side, revealing deep, jagged gashes running across the width of Ianto' back. Owen stares at the open flesh, ready to panic again... but he doesn't. Instead he looks to Jack. "Get me the secondary kit. We need to stitch his back up."

Pig digs out a smaller kit...hands it to Owen. Owen digs in it and removes a bottle. "I'm sorry for how this is about to burn, Yan."

Owen pours the pale blue liquid over Ianto' back. And the pain must be excruciating, because Ianto lets out a horrible wail. Jack's roar of anger joins in as he sees the little pup peeking out from the undergrowth and they finally know why the beast attacked.

Jack resists the urge to rise and kill the entire bloody Hinnimol crew.

They were breeding?


	7. Chapter 7

7

Jack and Owen work diligently to ensure Ianto is comfortable and he is soon sleeping with obvious pain in his face, Jack rising to take some air and clear his head. The red haze of rage lifting as Ianto breathes a little easier.

He knows Owen will not leave their friend alone.

Jack then finds a huddle, several men arguing about something and he approaches, hoping it is not an argument about whether to leave Ianto or not. It is too late and he is too tired to kill them all.

 _Plus Ianto will hate the paperwork, ya know?_

He stands and listens, his heart growing heavy as he realises they are arguing about the pup, still hiding in the bushes.

"It is still there, it won't leave without the mama. She's dead, it will die!" Wally points out and Stubbs disagrees.

"Papa must be out there, think he is gonna be pleased to find her gone? Think taking the pup will help that?" Sully asks, his hands wringing together as Stubbs fingers the Pulse Rifle's trigger nervously, "I say we bug out and leave them to it, the longer we are here, the more likely we get the next mauling when the rest of them find this."

"Is that right?" Jack speaks loudly, making them jump and swing to face him, Stubbs cries out with fear... starts to pull the trigger, when Jack's hand flashes out, grabbing the barrel, and shoving the butt back into Stubbs's face... THWACK.

The force of the blow knocks Stubbs back to the ground, but Jack holds his grip on the rifle barrel... flips it around to aim it at the boy. Blood drips down Stubbs's head as he stares up at his own rifle pointed down towards him.

Jack's finger tightens on the trigger. "So that there is the answer to your question."

And Jack pills the trigger ... Stubbs squeezes his eyes shut as he cries out... then CLICK. Stubbs opens his eyes... sees Jack sneering down at him.

"And the next time you aim to kill somebody, best remember your gun won't fire without a prime." Jack tosses the rifle back at Stubbs, and turns away. Stubbs's face flushes with rage and humiliation... he charges Jack from behind... tackles him to the ground... starts pounding him with punches.

A few of them land, but it's only a moment before Jack is back in control... head butting Stubbs off of him... tossing him away, then kicking him in the gut...

AGAIN.

He grabs his knife from his boot... is ready to finish Stubbs off...

"Jack"

Jack spins and heads for the shelter as Ianto calls weakly, struggling against Owen as he tries to see what the hell is going in.

"Hey, hey" Jack soothes, helping Ianto lay back on his side as Owen goes back to healing his back, "It's OK. Just an argument about the pup. They want to kill it."

"She's dead. We both know the males will not take a pup to raise, they don't like offspring." Ianto moans softly and Owen apologises, "It will die."

"Nobody is dying on my watch, ok?" Owen said softly, "If we have some sort of intergalactic problem best we sort it now. Killing the baby will only make it worse. We need to make contact and sort this shit out."

"Later" Jack says with a solemn stare, "Ianto comes first."

"I killed her" Ianto croaked, "She was protecting her pup, saw me as a threat. Right or wrong it is not that little one's fault."

"No" Owen sits back in his heels and looks at Jack, "We can't leave it. You know we can't. We need to leave a message about what happened so we don't start a fucking war. Then we need to get out of Dodge."

"Yee-haw motherfucker" Ianto giggles as the painkillers finally kick in and Owen grins as he remembers how funny the Welshman is when uninhibited.

Jack pats his shoulder as he looks at Owen again, "Catch?"

"Yeah. Catch, unharmed" Owen nods back, then resumes his work, Ianto's eyelids growing heavy.

"fugger drugged me"

"Yep. That's me. A real Fugger" Owen croons as his friend drifted off.

Jack rises to tell the others.

Whether they like it or not.

He had just promised Ianto.


	8. Chapter 8

Early morning and Jack rises, going to the edge of camp and waiting for contact. The one who approaches is larger and more intimidating than he had wanted and he now knows their captain is dead, the first officer in control.

"Captain"

"Jerl"

"You live, you live long."

"Yeah, not your average bear"

The silence was deafening as the creature stares at him and Jack grins as he knows it missed the joke altogether. "You were not to breed. That was the deal, the female that had a pup attacked my mate. He had not touched the pup or gone near it, she was acting as a mother would but that is why we agreed you would not breed. Your females are too protective."

"She did so without authority, was ostracized for it. Almost half the crew went with her. Went rogue, slightly insane I think." Jerl informs Jack with a wave of a huge hand, "Did not expect them to survive this long."

"They attacked my mate's team. My medic and mate want to keep the pup, my mate feels it is his fault even though she broke the contract" Jacks rubs his face as he talks, "Ianto has a kind heart, his own childhood difficult, he cannot stand the thought of harming another."

"Take it. Leave it" the being shrugged, blocking the sun for a moment, "We care not. She made their path to walk. It is not our path now."

"OK, thank you for your honesty" Jack says as he sees this is ending, "I will pass on in my report that this was a rogue moment and I understand this was not an act of aggression from your team."

"Thank you Captain." It starts to move away then turns back, "You have a mate?"

"Ianto" Jack smiles softly, "He is so quiet and straight laced, so … right. He will survive his injures and does not hold any ill will towards your kind. He understands pain and loss."

"The one you hunt, the alien. We ate him, I hope you understand he is a delicacy we never thought we would see again. We did not think" he tells Jack with a shameful slump of his shoulders.

"That's fine" Jack shrugs, "I was going to kill him for making this happen anyway."

"Then we are done"

"Yep."

Finally Jack was left alone, staring at the tress as they swayed back together and the thing was gone.

.

.

.

Empty and quiet... no sign of life... until Ianto's hand slips out from the covering over the entrance to the shelter. His fingers dig into the earth,

pulling himself up from the hole... a dead man climbing out of his own grave. A rebirth.

He rolls out to the ground... arches in pain when his back hits the cold, hard surface.

Ianto lies there shivering, regaining what little strength he has, then rolls over... starts dragging himself again with that one good arm. He makes it to the blanket... wraps it around him. "Owen?"

Ianto rests there in the centre of camp... unable to move...his eyes scanning the surroundings... no food... no water...and he's wide open in this clearing... an easy target for any predator.

So he drags himself toward the cover of brush.

And every movement takes all the will Ianto has... a push with his legs followed by a pull with his healthy arm... inch by inch... foot by foot... sweat pouring down his face as he finally reaches the cover of the trees... continues on... dragging himself across the forest floor in a desperate, hopeless crawl for survival.

Where is everyone?

Were they attacked?

Ianto lies in the dirt, weak... dehydrated... starving. He looks at his hands... scratched and bloody from clawing during his fight.

He turns his head and finds a little furry face inches from his own, blue eyes that are breathtaking and he smiles as he croons, "Hey baby. It's OK, nobody will hurt you. It's OK."

.

.

.

.

Jack enters the camp to silence.

Emptiness.

Jack rushes to the shelter and finds it barren rising and calling out to Ianto with raw fear. Have they overpowered Owen and taken Ianto somewhere?

"Jack"

Jack sobs with relief as he finds Ianto in the bushes with the little pup in his arms, "Hey. I think they went to catch this little guy in the wrong place."

"Awwwww" Jack crooned, then smiles, "Her. It's a girl love."

"Ah, couldn't see from this angle" Ianto rolls his eyes, "She doesn't speak yet."

"They all left you?" Jack frowns as he starts to get angry.

"No, one of them fell and Owen went to see if the ankle is broken or he is just being a girl's blouse" Ianto smiles up at him as he gives a fair impression of the medic and Jack gently lifts him, the pup in his arms then carries them back to the warm shelter.

"The pick-up is in two hours so I hope they remember to come break camp" Jack says as he places another blanket around the little girl, hearing someone approaching, then Owen enters and slumps into his spot by Ianto.

"Just being a wee bitch" Owen says happily as he administers more pain relief to Ianto, "Sprained. They are carrying him like bloody Cinderella or whatever."

"Cinderella?" Ianto croaks with a frown.

"Well I don't know, never did get fairytales. What ya got?" Owen finally notices the lump in Ianto's armpit, pulling at the blanket and gasping with glee.

"A little girl" Jack says softly, "I spoke with their leader and he is washing his paws of her. The mother was an outcast due to this one so she will die if we do not take her. They are not big on fostering other's pups."

"Mine?" Owen asks hopefully and Ianto can't care either way as he looks to Jack, the only thing he needs right now is his warm hand to cradle his own.

Owen lifts the baby into his lap and looks into those little blue eyes, falling in love in an instant.

"Hey there little one, we are going to be OK, yeah?" Owen croons "I will help you."

"Help me Rhonda" Ianto slurs softly, making Jack laugh. "I could hear it over the coms when they were still working."

"Rhonda" Owen repeats, "Yeah. I knew a Rhonda once, brilliant girl full of life. So funny and kind, always helping others and was really family based. Yeah. Rhonda, do you like that name? Yeah?"

"Welcome to the madness"


	9. Chapter 9

9

Gwen is beside herself, yelling and threatening as she watches Jack carefully carry Ianto to the SUV. Owen doesn't help with his explanation of what happened and Jack knows she will shoot someone any minute so he calls out to her that Ianto is in pain and needs some comfort.

Ianto's glare makes him grimace and whisper an apology as he throws him to the mad Welshwoman and her need to mother someone. He is soon swaddled in more blankets than he could stand and his polite yet firm thank you finally stopping her from finding more.

Owen is so besotted with his new pet that he doesn't even poke fun at Ianto who looks like a burrito.

Almost.

"Alright there Burrito Boy?" he snort as he clambers in awkwardly, the baby in his arms and he is clearly not about to let her go in a hurry.

"Itchy" Ianto grumps, wanting to wash off his pain and fear, stinking in his clothing.

"Soon be home" Jack promises, "Gwen, are you OK drive?"

Gwen is again excited, clambering for the driver's seat and they are soon speeding along as Gwen plays with the radio. Owen is nodding in and out of sleep with the pup in his lap but Jack will not scold, after all he was up all night watching over Ianto with open affection. Jack still finds their friendship weird. Full of hostility and fighting yet so affectionate. He wonders if he and Gray might have grown to this form of brotherhood.

Once at Base Ianto is carried to the guest quarters where Owen and Jack carefully clean him as he protests that he wants a bath, or at least a shower god damn it.

"You need rest" Owen snaps, "You are exhausted, your body is working overtime and you really need a drip and some sleep."

"I stink, please Jack please don't put me in the clean sheets, I am covered with blood." Ianto begs and Jack sees the truth in Ianto's face.

Her blood.

The mother.

"OK" Jack sighs as Owen huffs and whisper 'Pussy' before going to run the bath.

"Anything else?" Jack asks as he gently pulls the remains of the shirt off the poor Welshman's back and Ianto groans softly, then looks over to the pup who has snatched the scrap of material, pulling it under the chair Owen had been sitting in.

"Poor little thing, all she has left of her mama is the bloody clothes" Ianto is on the verge of total collapse, so tired and sore that he wants to cry so he steels himself and stands as Jack argues and he walks to the bathroom where Owen is turning off the water, turning and cursing softly.

"Shit, it looks so much worse in the bright light" Owen admits, pulling Ianto to one side and running his hands over the poor damaged body, "Scars on scars. Good thing you heal well and the Kirrsom salts like you. They don't heal everyone ya know."

"So you tell me every time" Ianto replies, his voice not so raspy now as he lets Jack help him into the water, then he lets out a soft cry as he loweres himself into the heat.

"Shit too hot?"

"No Owen, perfect thank you" Ianto leans back as Jack places a rolled up towel behind his head and lets the water kiss his wounds, his hands balling with pain. Speaking of…

"That wrist is broken isn't it" Owen says more than asks, "You can stop hiding it now. Crisis over, we have time for you."

"Yes, I heard the snap" Ianto admits "The same break as always I think."

"Well I can't just fix it" Owen mutters as he checks the pup then goes to start mixing plaster for a cast, "You broke that one so many times we need it to knit naturally."

"Joy"

Owen sniggers as the dry tone that always tickles, clucking at the pup until it emerges pulling the t-shit pieces. "Ew, really?"

It walks out of the room dragging the mess and Owen shrugs as he follows, "What the hell. What do I care, it's dry. Burrito boy can't complain."

"Owen I heard that" Ianto roars, then grimaces a his throat complains, growling as Jack leans over to kiss him gently, his hands soothing as he washes Ianto with the gentle intensity of a good mate.

"Thank you for letting him keep her" Ianto says softly, "I know you did that for me."

"Always" Jack says thickly, not looking up from the thigh he is examining, "Anything Tiger."

"Then can we go public?" Ianto asks, "I don't want to hide, I don't see the point. They all know, they all see that I can't live without you. You must. Cariad look at me. Us. You and me. Can we stop pretending and just be a couple."

"I hate that word"

"I know, it is a word that means future pain" Ianto knows as always, "But it is worth the pain to know the pleasure, right?"

Jack looks up through his lashes as he now massages the foot he has hold of.

"I love you. All of you, best, worst and wobbly bits" Ianto says with a wave of his hand like reciting a shopping list, "Even if you do cut your toenails on the edge of the bed."

"Where else would you do it?" Jack frowns as the old arguments starts, then he grins.

Ianto's laughter is soft as he holds out a hand and Jack eases him from the water, helping him dry and move to the folded back bed. Soon Ianto is snoring softly, fatigue winning out as his body tries to heal the parts Owen couldn't and Owen gently casts the wrist under a scanner.

"Next time, can it be Hawaii or Barbados or something?" Owen mutters softly, "These bloody family vacations suck dad."

Jack sniggers as he shoves Owen gently, leaning in to check Ianto's face for discomfort.

That was a close call.

"Owen? Where's the baby?" Jack asks as a faint yell is echoing up in the main Hub. Myfanwy's screech loud.

"Ah shit!" Owen gasps as he listens to something crashing, and he walks to the hallway and yells up the stairs, "Rhonda! God help me you stop doing whatever you are doing you little beast!"

Owen could have sworn he heard laughter.

.

.

.

.

That's it for now. Maybe was a part 1.

I will see.

Love you Rhonda xxx


	10. Chapter 10

So now they are on another Unit retrieval. Yet again wrong info, wrong place, wrong time ... really? Ianto must survive the downed Transporter in the middle of a snow blizzard. Oh, and maybe Unit were telling the truth about the alien creatures released by mistake? Seems Rhonda thinks this is a game of hide n seek.

 **Six Little Soldiers Sitting in the Snow**

Part II of Rhonda's Story is up and running so come find it … if you really wanna hate me.


End file.
